If you could have known me then,

The fresh faced girl who thought every sunbeam was God himself.

An innocent,

Free from that grey power of manipulation and guilt.

Safe from the monsters that creep into our hearts,

Infest our poor minds,

And slowly crawl into our throats.

If you could have seen me then,

Walking across that golden wheat field,

That was swaying in waves like the sea.

My mother said it looked like I was walking on water.

I told her I believed I was.

If you could have heard me then,

Singing life’s praises at the top of my lungs.

Arms stretched out wide to the world,

Songs of love and all the good things we share.

Where did she go you might ask,

And I say that she is still here.

She was always here,

The la la la in the back of my mind.

The kiss on my child’s forehead,

As he lay sleeping, the innocent.

The swirl in my sundress,

As I am planting my garden.

And my wild pondering,

As I stare at those sunbeams cutting through the clouds.

And I am keeping the monsters at bay,

They will just have to run along now.

‘Cause I got a lot of growing back to do.

Genevieve Hoskey

July, 2009